A WEIGHTY TOPIC
"What's your weight?" is a common question among ppl we meet (esp those we don't know that well). And yet I really wonder... how many actually tell their true weight? Say no to bulemia or over-binging on food. Just be happy at yourself... and laugh with... and not at this.

You know you are overweight when...
... people you used to think as overweight begin to look thinner.
... you want to enter a elevator with only 3 people, and they all shout, "Full up!"
... your friends say you used to be taller.
... an empty taxi passes by, and the driver pretends not to see you.
... your clothes begin to shrink inside the cupboard.
... in restaurants, waiters show you the list of desserts first.
... after a bath you take longer than usual to dry yourself.

LOSING WEIGHT
My diet club meets every Tuesday evening. I hate dieting so I usually eat as I please and fast on Tuesday before the dreaded weigh-in. With these eating habits, progress is slow. One day, frustrated by the numbers on my scale, I blurted, "I wish I could lose some of this weight."
"I know how you can do it," my ten-year-old daughter replied. "Just pretend that every day is Tuesday."

MISPERCEPTION
Eager to start a home-workout program, I popped a newly purchased exercise video into my VCR, only to discover that the tape was defective. I immediately drove back to the store and told the cashier, "This video doesn't work and I would like to get another."
Glancing at the shapely figure on the tape's box and then at me, she replied, "Well, honey, these things take weeks before they work."

THE LAST WORD ON CALORIES
Calories don't count:
* If no one sees you eating.
* If you offset a cheeseburger with a diet soda.
* If the person you're with eats as much as you do.
* If the food has medicinal properties, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast or rice pudding.
* If you're surrounded by people who weigh more than you.
* If it's a major holiday such as Christmas or your birthday.

DO OR DIET
Fed up with trying to lose weight on my own, I contacted the local chapter of a national weight-loss, self-help group. When a woman with a friendly voice came on he phone, I launched into my diet frustrations.
Before I could get very far, the woman said, "Could you hold on for a minute, please? I've got to go and wash all this chocolate off my hands."

PURPOSELY...
My wife is a frequent dieter. After a determined effort one spring, she was feeling particular pleased with herself: she had managed to get into a dress she hadn't been able to wear for years.
As she headed out the door on her way to work, I mentioned that the label was hanging out of the neckline in back. "It's a ten," she replied curtly. "Leave it where it is!"

NEVER COMPARE
I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However I couldn't help bragging that when I was 17, I weighed 225 pounds and today I weigh 224. I added, "That's not bad for a man my age."
Overhearing this a woman remarked, "You mean it took you this long to lose one pound?"